fast forward.

Sorry for the super long hiatus. I was a little preoccupied with things and couldnt find the time to write properly. A lot has happened since the last post eventful, important events that i really shoulve written about.

For one thing, i have sat for the said test i was to be taking when i wrote the hiatus post. I passed everything and am very happy to tell you ill be graduating this december with a first class degree in biomedical sciences :D Alhamdulillah

Since then, i have started the 2nd phase of my clinical practice. I did paeds rotation for 10 weeks which i thoroughly enjoyed. So much happen in the rotation, so many kids ive met that have touched my life and make me smile and cry. I have learn so much. and im happy to share with you guys becoming a paediatrician is definitely at the top of my career option, as of now. :) insyaallah

while the rotation was super, the paeds exams i thought didn't go too well. results are not out yet, so all i can do now is keep my fingers crossed and carry on.

last weekend then i visited one of my best girls after the exam just to take the stress off the whole blunder that is my paeds exam before the start of my 2nd rotation. We went shopping, sight seeing, eat loads and gossips. the usual ;) I also got a surprise present from the other half that me teared up a little. thanks Zul you never cease to make me fall in love all over again :) it was an awesome weekend indeed.

this week, i started my new rotation on obs and gynae. its mostly introduction lectures 9-5, no babies delivered, no fannies swabbed, yet (lol!) so not particularly exciting week, but tiring all the same. ive also managed to lose my 3year old iphone on monday along the way after a very long day in the hospital. i have an unbelieveable attachment to the phone that it broke my heart to a million pieces once it hit me that ive really lost it (that is after running up and down the big hospital asking around helplessly to almost every security person/receptionists i saw with teary eyes and snotty nose.)

so there. that is what has been happening in my life so far. ups and downs.

i think its healthy that you are down in the dumps once in a while. it makes you stop and think. be thankful for what you have, appreciate things around you more, gets you closer to god, strengthens friendship and relationships, and teach you a lesson.

and well, the other good this is, the only way to go now, is up. ;)

xx

talk to you soon

Is on

a little hiatus.

As always, its the exams.

Even typing the word hiatus reminds me of hiatus hernia. and then that reminds me of other causes of GORD then i realised i dont remember much then i make a mental note to go over gastroenterology again. Then i realised i still havent gone through renal and immunology and might not have time to go over gastro again. then i go mental.

LOL.

Its not really that bad. Promise its not. i actually quite enjoy revising and learning and understanding more and more about so many diseases day after day. It is rewarding. But at the same time it does get daunting on certain days where i had little sleep or where i lose my cool that i have to know a ridikeles amount of info and revise n memorise for the sake of exams and i fear i may just not be properly reataining the knowledge to use later in life when im an actual doctor. That part is not fun :S

Anyhoo, exam i this coming Monday. 2 papers only and i practical. Then all is done and i shall be homebound!

Wish me luck people! Doakan i! I really wanna do well and be reassured so then i can enjoy my 2 week holiday with my family and the other half happily :)

Back to studying now!

xx

ps- ive missed you too!

I wish I

1) Could un-watch all the crazy Lady Gaga videos I watched today. because they are so disturbing and makes me feel uneasy

2) Had been consistent with my revision so I dont have this panic attack.

3) Was more careful with my spending. I owe every penny to my beloved state of Terengganu so I should spend wisely.

4) Had not merajuk. Because it melts my heart when he calls me in he middle of his night to apologise and talk and make me smile. Makes me miss him more.

5) Could stay at this weight regardless of the amount of galaxy cookie crumble that i eat. Not a pound thinner, nor fatter

5.5) Darn I wish i hadnt looked at the calorie count. a small bar of 100 gms is a freaking 2000kcal.

6) Am a better muslim and pray the five prayers on time and take more time to learn the Quran. Shouldn't we all?

7) Could read my feel good books, those shopaholic series instead of this crash course in cardiology.

8) Am with Mama and ayah in America now. And watch my one and only brother graduating :)

9) Am taller. So i can pull off a jumpsuit.

10) Whine less. Period.

.

picture off google

Graze Craze

A package i almost forgot about arrived today and it lighten up my gloomy day at work. Look look looookkk!

Its my first free box of grazeeeeeee :D with four wonderful treats i could totally use as pick me ups! :D. So cute its got a little personal touch to it with your name and little booklet and everything. its awesome :D

Whats in the box this week? - Sweet goan curry crackers, honey bee good, billionaire's shortcake and savoury roasted seeds.

So i first heard about graze when i went to Yaz's place last month. Its a service that sends you healthy, fresh, low calorie tidbits weekly/ bi weekly / forthnightly depending on your request right to your doorstep. So when ure feeling peckish, instead of eating your sinful muffins/ snickers bars, you can munch on them! wonderful! You can choose the day you want it delivered.

Yaz gave me a coupon and i signed up about 2 weeks ago. I remember purposely putting it in as to be delivered on every Monday so I'll get a little nice surprise when I get back from hospital first thing in the week. And it was totally a good idea I would give myself a pat on the back if i could! :D

the first box is free when you claim a coupon. The second one is 1.50. The subsequent boxes are at normal price which is 3 pounds i think. You can tell them in advance if you wanna go on holiday that week so they wont send you one. Or you can change from weekly delivery to forthnight or bi weekly etc, totally up to you. You can even choose what treats to get from their chioce of 100 or so nuts/fruits/diet cookies. But i like surprises so i didnt choose, and let them pick for me this week ;) And i have to say they made a good choice they had me at first bite!

So guys if any of you would like a free box of graze, just gimme a holler, ive got 3 coupons for 3 free first boxes!

Stay healthy folks, Love always

Ps- Thank you Yazira!

Pps- I really should ask graze for a little comission for advertising them ;D

Rainy Monday

A day's work in a clinic can be quite demanding. And i dont mean physically so much. But you can get emotionally wary. You see patients come in with a disease you cant cure. You see young little boy with gorgeous blue eyes and curly golden hair smiling to you and telling you you smell like strawberry, jumping around happily one minute and screaming and crying the next after you gave him three immunisation shots. Oh and the look he gave with that teary big blue eyes! You see old grown big men cry over the death of their loved ones. You see all sorts of things. And you cant help but to empathize and feel. It's just little things but these little things do get you down sometimes.

I guess i just have to learn to dissociate my feelings and my work better. Empathize but not feel. Be stronger and look on the bright side. And start saving the world, one patient at a time. Chin up!

Vlog 2.0

About fricking time, right? :D LOL. soooo sorry! ive been really busy :( Clinicals are so tiring, but good kinda tiring, fun tired. I was at hospital half the time and the other half at home sleeping/ pigging out/ burying my nose in piles of notes and heavy books pretending to be revising while watching pretty little liars.

So i got home quite early today and i was sorting thru my work clothes and selendang, colour coding things and hangers (yes im a wardrobe freak like that) and trying out my old dresses and casual clothes and jeans and spring skirts that i rarely get to wear anymore nowadays :( i tried on my hijabs and experimented with a few styles. then..

you guessed it. i decided to make a hijab tutorial video. rest assured this video isnt as awkward as my 1st attempt at vlogging (at least i think so) LOL. This goes for you guys who have been missnig my face and my voice. Wait, what? you dont miss me? Well your mom does.

Weeheeee :D ttyl 'ppl of the internet' who says that? (O_o) oh right, i did (T_T)

I believe I am going through a very important phase in my life as a doctor in the making. I keep reminding myself

'Oh, ive gotto pen this down somewhere, Ive got to remember this feeling i have when i see my first proper patient, or the atmosphere in an emergency department or the scene where everybody is talking all at once fighting for what they think is best for the patient.'

But mostly though, i want to be able to read back one day about the motivation i have now, the spirit and the relentless persistence and this thrist for knowledge i feel now, so that i would remember how exciting, touching, overwhelming and rewarding the whole thing is, should i one day have a hard time in medicine.

So thats just what i would do. :)

Starting this weekend, of course.

(oh yes, im still as big a procrastinator as i was before even after the eye opening experience in hospital of course, that bit has not change unfortunately - im a basket case.)

talk to you later.

Sunday Treats

Molten chocolate lava cake - Work in progress. Brb with hopefully some tantalising pics :) wish me luck!

***

what it should look like

Obviously it was a failed attempt :(

Trial 2 coming up! Really soon!

23 reasons

Today is the 23rd birthday of one of the most important person in my life; Zul. I could not even begin to describe how much he means to me. So i am gonna try to get across to you why he means so much to me and why i am so smitten with him :) So here goes the list of 23 reasons. In no particular order:

1- He is laid back. So he compliments my kelam kabut and easily excitable nature and makes me feel relaxed and comfortable around him.

2- He is someone I can count on. Although he is not a morning person, if its a big day for me or for him, he would be the one who gives me wake up calls and wish me luck and calms the jitters.

4- He cooks for me. ( More than i cook for him! :O )

5-And on occasions where i cook for him, he insists to do all the cleaning and washing up so i could 'go take a rest, you dah penat masak' Hello, i masak nasik goreng ngn telur dadar je maybe.

6- He involves me in his daily lives. Asks my opinion, take me to MtG places where nerds off happen; with that fat slob with greasy hair and lanky awkward boy with spectacles so thick his eyes seems incredibly small, staring at the cards with such intensity like the next one they are gonna play might just change the course of history.

7-And he is one of those nerds without the nerdy looks ;) So i could call him up and ask, Zul why is this and that? And i would get complete detailed answer as if i am listening to the audio version of howstuffworks.com. LOL

8- Despite that, he could be a hopeless romantic at times.

9- He introduces me to his friends and more importantly to his family.

10- He calls when he says he would

11- he notices the small things. How I wear my scarf differently. Its a new perfume. Fancy schmancy new shoes.

12- He remembers! Yeah you wore that white shirt that day and I said hi to you. and the rest was history.

13- He cares! There was this one time in Prague where we were strolling the streets and we had to stop sebab suddenly i had a massive fit of cough and got sick, probably from the bad food i ate. He saw a stranger carrying a carrier bag with something tht says what seems to be like the word Pharmacy in Czech i guess and ran to him and actually stopped that guy in his tracks to ask where could he find a pharmacy so he could get smthg for my cough. turns out that man dint speak english and he used every crude sign language to get his question across. Hehe so comel that i ended up feeling better n not so sick anymore :D (woman flu je maybe)

14- He continuously wants to improve himself. In all aspects of life. Career, spiritual, financial and works hard for it.

15- He reads

16- He shares his reads with me

17- He takes amazing photos and is persistent at it.

18- He teaches me what he knows

19- And asks me things he doesnt know but knows that i would.

20- He tells me little stories about when he was a little boy. that isnt necessarily big or significant. but he tells me anyway and smile when he recollets his memory.

21- He laughs a lot. and it is contagious.

22- He apologizes and he forgives

23- He adores me as much as i adore him.

There! 23 reasons why he is awesome on his 23rd birthday. :D i could go on all night but i have to save some for next year pulak. :) Its quite long and im not used to long posts but if you are reading up to this point, you should try writing a list about your significant other oh their special day as well! It feels so nice to actually pen this down and it saves time as well you know. so next year i could write smthg like this:

24 reasons I love you on your 24th birthday:

1- You are hot

2- refer the rest to last years post (inserts link)

See! You guys should totally try this out. :D

To Zul, Happy birthday! Have a great day and I can't wait to see you soon!

xxxxx Laila

History is made

Alhamdulillah! After 30 years being in power, EX Egypt Presidnet, Hosni Mubarak stepped down finally exactly 30 minutes ago.

Now rebuild your nation, grow and prosper! We are with you every step of the way!

Love,

The rest of the world! :D

Youve got a fast car, and i want a ticket to anywhere.

Maybe at this point I should come clean and tell you the reason I haven't been updating so much in here is because i've got a tumblr account, which I haven't really told anybody about and am not planning to anytime soon.

the reason being is that the tumblr posts are ones which i tend to be more emotional and more touchy-feely. and i post there whenever im mad/irritated with someone/something/both, or when i feel sad. A sort of an outlet for my negative emotion; you can call it that. And ive been posting there more than i do here lately (which means i might just have to go on another retail therapy session soon to heal my spiteful distressed self, LOL)

Anyway, the reason im updating today to share agood news with you! have you guys heard of the band boyce avenue? They are basically a band formed by 3 brothers; Alejandro, Fabian and Daniel Manzano from Florida. They mostly do acoustic cover of popular songs on youtube as requested by fans. One of the brothers is a Harvard law school graduate, i think while the other two are a students in the uni of Florida. They started singing as a past time thing and uploaded their videos on you tube and around three years ago they became a hit. a HUGE hit!

I discovered them when i first came to the UK. i was talking to zul about this one linkin park song, and browsing for cover versions of it on youtube. I found them and at that time it only had a couple of hundred thousdand viewers i think and i was totally hooked! They cover songs from the 90 as well that hold loads of memories to me :)

Their versions are so good and they usually change the lyrics that are filled with sexual innuendos or nasty things to something much more meaningful and sweet. Amazing hey!! A playlist filled with their songs are on replay everyday, all the time now.

Now, three years down the line, theyve begin to produce their own songs tho wiki says they gonna slow production down this year as the other 2 brothers are gonna continue their studies. However before they slow down their singing career, they gonna have a tour!

So anyways, here's the good news! I woke up this morning and found out that boyce avenue is gonna do a Europe Tour later this year heyyyy!!! They'll have a gig in london, birm, manchester and cardiff in May!!! If you guys havent check them out yet, please do! just listen to a few songs and i promise you you will love them! And after you have check them out, pretty please teman i pergi gig diorang? :D

so, to start your assignment of discovering boyce avenue, have a listen to their cover to fast cars, by tracy chapman in collaboration with Kina Grannis, another of my fav youtube artist, which i shall talk more about later. For now, enjoy this amazing cover of an amazing song :)

ps- found the uku tab for this! :D

A Leader with a big appetite for his people's blood.

Why he refuses to step down and more importantly HOW does he sleep at night, is really unfathomable to me. My heart goes out to all the Egyptians and my prayers as well. It's good to see men and women from different religions of all ages, come together in critical times like this and fight for their country after decades of being the the tyrannic regime of the said man with a thirst for blood. God bless their brave hearts. Hold steadfast brothers and sisters, you are almost there, I could smell the revolution, keep pushing him down, the world is behind you! Do it peacefully, but DO IT!