Autumn bloom

The first semester of my third year as a medical students are a complete change from what ive been going through in the past 2 years of medical school. Its been sending me into a whirlwind of psychological and physical states (which i must point out is not always horrible) and put me through very stressful situations of dealing with things out of my control.

This semester, I got myself involved in medial research. Not main-main punya involved, like 100% involved, my very own project, my own research, ideas and towards the end nnt, writing up my own thesis in which i would have to present to the course coordinator and insyaallah get my first degree (in biomedical sciences) before proceeding to medical degree! *fingers crossed*

the first few weeks was very challenging, imagine 2 weeks of 9-7pm work in a lab, most days without lunch, 7 days a week only to find out at the end of the cycle that all your cells you've been feeding and monitoring for the past week died on the very last day, the day where you wanna do the end point analysis. Thus, deeming all your hard work useless as you could generate no data. Nada. Sebab all the little cells, all 70+ sets of cells dah mati :S

But oh well, you live and learn. alhamdulillah things are much better now, in fact ive come to the last weeks of my lab works and generated sound, reliable datas to be used in my write up. the working hours is shorter as my techniques in culturing the cells and doing the end point assays improved. Now, i feel like i can breathe again. :)

(the housing area, Dunkirk 'Jaya' from my window)

So yeah, hello all :) i know its been ages since i last updated but i just wanna let you know im alive and doing well. Will update more with pictures of my new pad :D

Vague

They say writing can be therapeutic. I think i can use a bit of therapy right this moment.

I have been meaning to write over the summer. I even put the last post as summer story - 1. Implying that there was going to be story 2 3 and so on. And i really thought there was gonna be. Apologies for that.

Ive had such a good time over the summer. I got to meet some friends; old and new. Reconnected with family members i usually rarely spoke to and spending quality time with especially my mom; getting down to talk more about real world stuff, stuff about growing up, my future the uncertainties of it all and figuring out what i really want in life and what are the priorities. I enjoy these talks with Mama. It is even better when i get to share it with the other half - and have him helping me paint the picture of the future. It was nice and comforting.

I didnt really go out do the hu-ha happy kinda stuff so much this time around. Instead i found myself learning a lot of little things taught by many people from unassuming strangers (projek kalsom esp. but more on that later) to my very own flesh and blood that is family members. Things that touch your heart, things that is far more important than what is taught in the textbooks.

So when I came back to the UK last week, Id like to think of myself as a different, more motivated (wo)man. A grown up and more matured self, ready to take on the world with positiveness, always remembering to count my blessings and remain unperturbed, full with gusto for life, even when faced with the worst case scenarios.

A few days has passed now. And Im getting more and more caught up with the stresses of daily life and bogged down with worries i know i shouldnt have. It has been a really really rough week for me (dont get me started) and i need to constantly remind myself that this too, shall pass. I dont want the joys, lessons and self discoveries i made in the last 3 months got blown away and forgotten in this trivial mess that I know, shall pass.

Insyaallah.

More updates and picture of my new house when i feel less moody. till then

The Summer Story - 1

25/6/2010 – Cafe Nero, London Heathrow Airport; a steamy cup of hot choc, a roasted tomato Panini and an oversized double chocolate cookies. We talked and laughed until it was time for me to board. He sent me off until the security gate, my heart heavy, my mouth dry. At the risk of tearing up, i said my goodbye, hastily, and walked to the security gate. I got pass the security personnel, a Pakistani lady with a kind smile and she said ‘Apa khabar?’ as she cheked my passport and ticket. I smiled and nodded, joined the queue. I methodically took my laptop out, my phone, keys, coins and put them onto the conveyor belt. ‘Belt, keys, necklaces or earrings, madam?’ A big man motioned to the container in front of me. I touched the red heart shaped Swarovski crystal on my chest, ‘No’ and I remembered to look back. But I couldn’t see him, there were too many people, the queues were obstructing my view. Damn.

26/6/2010 – In a couple of hours, i’ll be in Malaysia! So far I’ve watched Dear John (which was so-so), Up (so good i even teared up a little! Haha!) The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (how does Brad Pitt manage to look so hot and so old at the same time?) and Edward Scissorshand- it amazes me how i used to think this story is so cool 10 years ago but now that i watched it again its only plain, almost stale even.

I surreptitiously chose all JB songs and put it on my InFlight entertainment playlist, praying to Dear God nobody sees this. Suddenly, Elizabeth, a girl I just knew 10 hours ago, tapped on my shoulder, ‘I nak pergi toilet, sorry’ I stood up and made way for her. :O Harap2 die tak nampak!

****

A pakcik helped me with my 30-kilo luggage. I pulled my trolley, craning my neck looking for some familiar faces. I felt like I was in a movie. The scene where long lost family members were about to be reunited for the first time after years. Heheh. Then I saw them. Waving and smiling. Familiar, much loved faces. ‘Mama!! ’ We hugged and made our way to the car, chattering away. Ahh, home is indeed where the heart is J